Political Distress Signs

What do political staffers do during an election? Who gets the job of driving around the area to see who has the most lawn signs up? Oops. Our opponent(s) have more signs than we do; time to stick a few more in the ground. Is this the kind of job that eventually lands you some cushy position in the government if your candidate wins? Does it perhaps qualify you to be an assistant director in the parks department earning $150,000 a year because you spent so much time aerating the grass between street lanes?

While I understand that we have a Constitutional right to free speech, how many times do you have to see someone's name before you realize that they are running for something? Terry McAuliffe had so many signs in some areas that you couldn't see the grass. This is clearly the case where more is not better.

And ugly? One sign might be a distraction. Thousands of them are an abomination. And to what creative heights do the sign makers need to ascend? Let's see should we use the blue background with white lettering? Or perhaps the green background with white lettering. No…let's go with the blue.

While I haven't taken the time to look up any local regulations it would seem that there is some kind of limit to the size of these monstrosities. Thank god for small favors. Otherwise we would have a war on whose was bigger. Not an uncommon battle for most politicians by the way. Mine's bigger than yours to wit I should win. In order to really make a difference why not come to a gentleman's agreement and limit the number of signs that are…..oh, lost my head there. Hard to find a couple of gentlemen bent on winning at all costs who would agree on limiting anything.

And what about the green movement? How much does it cost to make, deliver, distribute, and eventually remove and destroy all of those atrocities? What kind of a carbon foot print do they leave? How do we let them know that we really don't need to spend all of that energy making our highways and lawns look like a national reproduction of the moronic activities at political conventions. Funny hats. Funny buttons. Funny signs. Funny people…in a morbid sense of the word.

Now as for effectiveness. If the assumption is that the more people are exposed to this nauseating kind of advertising the better the chances of someone winning were true, we could eliminate all of the speeches, debates, and endless series of mind numbing commercials.

But practically we know that isn't true.

McAuliffe lost by double digits.

Heheheehehehe.